Backman High School was Frederick Caulfield’s third high school— he had been expelled twice in the past year and a half— and he had silently started his second semester of tenth grade at Backman High. Nobody knew all this; Head down and hood up, it always seemed like Frederick was trying to disappear into the shadows. Of course, Frederick remained hooded and silent unless someone behaved like an idiot (in which he informed the idiot of their brainlessness). Frederick knew everyone hated him, of course. But it didn’t really matter— He was an outcast and there was nothing he could do to change that, he thought as he got his laptop out for the morning.
“Hi, um, what was today’s physics homework again?” Lyra asked Frederick, approaching him from behind. “Figuring out how to recognize an idiot who thinks makeup is more important than physics,” Frederick shot back at Lyra, sparing no more than a scathing glance at her worried face and jean jacket. “One look in the mirror would do that for you.”
“Who are you to say that?” Lyra snapped, immediately appalled. Frederick sighed and went back to his locker as she stomped angrily down the hall. But well, it didn’t matter much to Frederick. These kinds of things never did. He was used to solitude and the shadows, used to his hoodie, used to everyone pushing him away. He almost preferred being alone now, since conversations always turned uncomfortable and everyone turned away from him.
In geography class, Mr. Davis finally announced the final project he’d been hinting at for months— In teams of two, each team would have to visit one little-known but significant location in the state and do a presentation on its history. No famous landmarks allowed.
“Anybody got any questions?” Mr. Davis concluded.
Why can’t we do this alone? Frederick silently complained. Nobody would want to be partners with me anyway.
A hand shot up. Will Dongelo. “Yes, Will?” Mr. Davis called.
“Can we visit more than one location? I have a few I want to share about,” Will asked with a smile on his face. Frederick frowned. He’s such a suck-up, he thought. Surely he’s all doing it to impress the teachers for the grades and recommendation letters. Will had been like this all the time Frederick had seen him, always wearing a bright sweater and a bright smile, always so kind and so helpful to everyone. What a phony.
“Great question, Will,” Mr. Davis replied, snapping Frederick back to his senses. “You may visit as many places as you like, as long as the presentation is within seven minutes.”
“Thank you!” Will beamed. Frederick frowned and kept his hood on.
“As for the groups,” Mr. Davis grinned mischievously, “I have done some random generation for the next generation.” Frederick groaned out loud at the horrible pun.
“Here are your pairs: Viktor and Thomas, Cassie and David, Alex and Rosie…” Frederick tuned out Mr. Davis after the first few names, and soon enough class was over.
As Frederick was walking to his next class with his hood still up, he was startled by someone tapping his shoulder. “Hey,” said a voice. Frederick whipped around, taking in Will’s sapphire blue eyes and wide grin. “I’m your partner for the geography project,” Will continued. “Wanna come over after school to brainstorm some ideas for it?”
Frederick wasn’t as enthused. Will? Will Dongelo was his partner? Out of all the people! Why not someone less enthusiastic? Then he could just divide roles and get over it. But noooo, not with Will. He had to do everything with no shortcuts, no nothing, do everything together as was intended.
“Um, you still wanna come over?” Will was standing uncomfortably, looking worried.
Frederick sighed. “Yeah, sure.”
Will’s grin came back. “Okay, I’ll text you my address! What’s your number?”
Frederick sighed again. “564-291-4198.”
“Thanks!” Will dashed off to his next class, leaving Frederick alone in the halls.
After school, Frederick found himself sitting on the blue patterned carpet of Will’s room.
“So,” Will started hopefully. “Do you have any particular places you want to visit?”
“I perfectly remember you saying you have more than one location you want to share about,” Frederick snarled at him. If you have so many ideas, why are you wasting my time inviting me over? I know you hate me, you don’t have to keep up the ruse of kindness here too.
“Yeah, I do have some ideas, I just wanted to know if you were thinking of any place in particular,” Will replied, unfazed. “There’s a place I know nearby, do you want to go there then?”
“Sure,” Frederick sighed, and stood up to leave.
“Wait.” Will managed to grab his hood and pulled Frederick back down to a sitting position, inadvertently lowering his hood and revealing a matted-down but messy mop of blond hair.
“Hey!” snapped Frederick, hastily pulling his hood back on and standing up. “Don’t do that. Ever again.” He turned around and left the room— why did he do that?
Jumping to his feet, Will ran after Frederick and caught him before he could go down the stairs. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t the best thing I could’ve done,” Will apologized. “Um, could we talk a little bit?”
Frederick shook him off, incensed. Tugging his hood down hard, he raised his voice. “No. Stop wasting my time. You’re just gonna talk about your bloody project and your bloody grades and everything about you anyway. You’re gonna do the places you want on this project too— Now you do your project, and leave me alone!”
Will looked stunned for a second, then composed himself. “I wasn’t going to talk about me at all,” he said calmly. “I was going to ask you about yourself. How you were doing. You basically haven’t spoken since you transferred here.” He sounded genuinely concerned.
“Oh, so you’re just like ‘what’s your problem,’ huh?” Frederick retorted angrily. “You’re just like all the others! If you hate me so much, just leave me alone! That’s better for both of us! Leave me alone!”
Eventually Will broke the long silence— “Tell me a little bit about yourself.” Will gazed into Frederick’s storming eyes. Is he actually being nice to me? wondered Frederick. Why?
“Why are you being nice?” Frederick asked. “Don’t you hate working with me?”
Will chuckled. “I could,” he replied. “I could hate you. I just choose not to.”
“What?” Frederick was confused.
“I think,” started Will slowly, “I think you’re not as bad as you think you are. I think, under that hood, you’re afraid. Afraid of yourself. Afraid. Ashamed. Angry.” Who is this guy? thought Frederick. Suddenly he’s launching into a good-guy monologue?
Will continued. “I think you’re afraid to try. Afraid to try and change. You know that song, Man in the Mirror? Well, it seems like you took a look at yourself and decided you were too ‘bad’, and didn’t even try to make a change.”
“It’s true, though. What good is trying if you know nothing’s gonna happen? I’m just who I am.” Frederick interrupted. “Trying something while knowing nothing’s going to change is just a waste of time and resources. I’m basically hopeless.”
“Well, I think you can get hopeful.” Will smiled at him, and Frederick understood. This isn’t a ruse of kindness. He’s not being nice just to impress the teachers. He’s actually, genuinely a kind and caring person.
“And see, people are here to help you,” Will explained. “I’m here to help you. Actually, most people are willing to be kind and give help, and all you have to do is just be kind in return.”
Frederick took in the truth of what Will had just said. Then, slowly, he reached up and pushed back his hood.
“Yes!” Will exclaimed. “Yes! There you go, finally out of your shell!”
Frederick felt something odd— he touched his face and realized he was smiling too. He was as elated as Will was, as excited for what was to come. “I want to try,” Frederick said, a new confidence in his voice. “I want to try… to be a better guy. To be kinder.” He smiled at Will.
“That’s great! I know you can do it,” encouraged Will, grinning ear to ear. “It’s okay if you don’t manage it the first time, you can always get back up. That’s the important part.”
The next day, the soft spring breeze was comforting in his purple shirt (with no hoodie), and the way to school seemed much brighter than usual. This feels really strange, but really good at the same time, Frederick mused as he walked to school. No, good isn’t the word to describe it. I need something stronger. Glad? No. Hm, I really need to improve my vocabulary. As he pushed open the glass door and walked up the stairs, it seemed like everything was going to go right. But when he came to a stop in front of his locker, Lyra’s voice whipped him out of his good mood.
“So your hood’s off now, eh?” Lyra sneered at Frederick, sarcasm thick in her words. “Nice to see you so active and out of your shell.” Similar to what Will had said the other day, but this time it sounded like an insult. Frederick’s instincts took over—
“Active? You think this is being active? How do you equate showing a bit of hair to being active? Use your brain— oh sorry, you haven’t got anything in there. Big surprise.”
Lyra walked away steaming, and Frederick was very discouraged; it had just been one day since he’d resolved to be kinder, and he’d failed already.
After school Will encouraged Frederick to keep up the work and assured him that failure wasn’t important, but Frederick went back to wearing hoodies. Regardless, Will kept supporting Frederick no matter what, and after a few months Frederick did indeed improve. One day he stopped wearing hoodies, and after a while of constantly seeking improvement even his grades started to rise, little by little. Now, he didn’t feel good — he felt elated, fantastic, splendid, brilliant, wonderful, confident. He had rough days, but he could persevere through them.
A few days later, Frederick was walking home from school when he happened to look into an alleyway. The dim light coming into the grimy alleyway barely illuminated a girl in a gray hoodie and jeans, seemingly about his age. She was just standing in the alleyway with her back to Frederick, looking down at the floor with her hood up. A great sigh escaped her lips.
Knowing what to do, Frederick strode up to her and reached for her hood.
